Note To Self: When Someone Hates You, It’s Not About You

Published by Leoni on


“I hate you, I wish I have never met you!

Harsh words? Yes of course nobody wants to hear this.. but it is a message that I got from the one I love a few days ago.

Matthew 10:22

You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Not everyone will like you. That’s just a fact of life.

What’s more difficult is accepting that some people will actually hate you.

But being hated is actually an amazing compliment to me. It doesn’t seem like it, but underneath the layers of hate and darkness is a compliment from a very vulnerable person.

It will not be easy. It’s not fun having rumors circulate about you, and some of your closest friends might even buy into the gossip.

You don’t have to do anything to feed the fire, yet other people can still make it grow until it consumes you. Work environments may no longer be comfortable. Crossing paths with certain family members may be awkward. You will probably lose friends.

It’s not fair that you feel the effects.

But remember, it actually has nothing to do with you.
People that are genuinely comfortable with themselves don’t desire to be anyone else. They are truly proud of their lives, which allows them to be genuinely happy for somebody else and their successes.

When they’re jealous of you, they feel a need to bring you down, maybe say that you don’t deserve what you have or that you were lucky to achieve what you’ve accomplished. When someone hates you, their jealousy is exponentially greater, revealing how insecure and unhappy they are with their own lives.

It has nothing to do with you!

Their perspective is clouded by their own unhappiness, and they feel the need to bring down others. Your existence embodies another perspective. Maybe you spoke out against their ideals. Maybe you are right.
When people hate you, it has nothing to do with you.

It’s their insecurities and vulnerability that leads them to try to bring you down in order that they can feel better about themselves.

When people hate you, it means that you’re a force to be reckoned with. It means that you threaten their ideals and beliefs. It means that there’s a chance you are right and they are wrong.

There’s such a good chance that the other person decides to bring you down because calling you a terrible person and spreading rumors about you is easier than admitting what they really are. It’s easier than admitting that you simply are right and that they themselves could be wrong.

They see weakness in admitting that you might be right. They themselves are too weak to change or maybe consider an alternate perspective. By hating you, they are already showing how insecure and weak they are because they cannot handle an honest conversation with you about the situation at hand or an intellectual discussion about your differing perspective.

Instead of gaining more security and confidence in themselves, they find satisfaction in attacking you and ruining your life.

The most comfortable and secure people don’t have a need to hate other people based on how they look, how they act, or what they believe.
They’re open to differing perspectives and discussions. They are not threatened by an opinion that disagrees with their own beliefs. They’re so so secure in their ideals and values that they can respect another person’s opinions without feeling threats to their own.

It’s not easy when people hate you.
But if someone hates you, let them.

It means you stand for something important. It means you’re making a point.

So just keep doing what you’re doing.
If they feel the need to hate you, then you’re being heard.

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